Ever since I put my focus on becoming a writer the way that I read things has changed.
No longer can I just get lost in a book, creating affinity with characters, speed reading through paragraphs as the story picks up pace. I’ve noticed that I’ve become a judge. Judging the author, the words, the meaning behind the words before putting myself in the spotlight.
The Comparison Cashier is out in full force, fingers pointing, scanning what I believe to be truths:
- Beep: You’ll never be able to write anything as good as this
- Beep: You’re not serious about writing when you don’t write every day
- Beep: You’re a procrastinator, you’ll never finish a novel
- Beep, Beep, Beep!
And I’m left feeling intimidated.
I’ve just finished reading ‘The Girl on the Train’ – Paula Hawkins. It’s the first fiction book I’ve read in ages that had me gripped from the offset. So much so, I finished the book in less than 6 hours! I was in awe.
There were many a time whilst rushing through the pages that I said to myself:
“This is the book I wish I had written”
At these times the Comparison Cashier was in full force, a thorn, edging deeper into my side. Beeping through the ‘truths’ – repeatedly. I had to get away. So I put on my trainers and I went for a run.
When I run……Ha, I’m saying ‘when’ like I do it all the time. The last time I ran was 25th June. I know the date because I use a running app and there it was, the date – laughing at me, proving that I am indeed a procrastinator!
When I run I feel amazing afterwards. It clears my mind, gives me more energy and allows my creativity to flow. It annoys me that I know this – yet rarely do I don my trainers and take myself outside.
The run highlighted that I have a choice. I always have a choice.
- I could choose to stay at home or I could choose to go for a run.
- I could choose to write each day or I could choose to write adhoc.
- I could choose to be inspired by other authors or I could choose to be intimidated.
I CHOOSE TO BE INSPIRED
The thorn and the cashier began to disappear alongside the doubt pains and unnecessary anguish.
I CHOOSE INSPIRATION
And inspiration is everywhere.
Jeff Cann is a blogger friend. I came across his blog ‘The Other Stuff’ as one of his posts was chosen by WordPress in the ‘Discover‘ section. I was immediately struck by his openness and the vulnerability in his posts, that he had a follower in me.
When he mentioned he had published a book ‘Fragments – a memoir’. I bought it immediately, as I’m all for supporting friends with their endeavours. I’ve just started reading it and five stories in – I’m blown away. I knew this guy could write but this guy can really write!
The way that Jeff welcomes you into his world, sharing pieces of his life non-chronologically works so well. I highly recommend ‘Fragments’, Jeff’s authenticity and humour shines through as you see his struggle with mental health, drug and alcohol abuse and life in general. I believe this could be a book that could help many people face their own demons.
I have a warm glow inside as I celebrate what Jeff has accomplished.
That’s when it struck me.
There is no place for intimidation on my writing journey. Other authors are not my competition. Just because someone writes something amazing, it doesn’t leave the creativity pool dry, empty for others. If anything, they’re adding to the pool.
I think to Paula Hawkins. Imagine if she, having read a book she loved decided that she wasn’t good enough to be able to write a novel. I would have never read her book.
Other authors are not my competition. The competition is with myself!
So thank you to Jeff Cann for helping me to remember that.
I’m going to participate in NaNoWriMo which is the National Novel Writing Month which takes place every November. Will what I write be a bestseller? I very much doubt so. Is that going to stop me from writing my first novel? Hell no!
I’ve made my choice.
I CHOOSE INSPIRATION
I would also like to take this time to celebrate the success of some other people I know who have published books.
I met Angela Preston at the Public Speaking Accademy and this woman continues to inspire me to this day. ‘Opening Doors’ is her story of the trials and tribulations of life and shows you what is possible to achieve if you work at it.
Surjit Kaur is a high school friend, we had so many laughs at school. Her creativity shone out then as we used to write letters to each other in class and she would be doodling and drawing everywhere. ‘Burt’s Shirt’ is a children’s book and is such a fun read.
Each person I see working on their dreams, gives me the strength to be able to follow mine.
Blog post written. I’m {gasp, shock, horror} going for a run!
Emma x
Instagram: @emmalouhalliday
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This Vulnerable life 
Emma, that’s a very generous review, thank you! I, too, sink into the “I’ll never be that good” mindset on occasion. I’ve recently been reading a lot of David Sedaris (a memoirist/humorist) and I continually walk the line between respect and jealousy. One of my heros, Stephen King, has a list of rules for writers http://www.businessinsider.com/stephen-king-on-how-to-write-2014-7. I review these every now and then for inspiration.
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You are very much welcome. I’ll leave a full review on Amazon once I’ve finished the book 🙂
Yes, it’s a very fine line – great that we’re able to recognise it. Thanks for the heads up on Stephen King’s rules. I’ll check them out.
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Lovely post dear 🙂🙂 Love your review and thoughts. Thank you for sharing x x
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Thank you for reading and for taking the time to comment. Really appreciate it. Xx
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You are very welcome dear 😊😊 x x
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It’s so easy to get sucked into a comparison mindset! But you’re right, our only competition is with ourselves. My channeling teacher made the point not long ago that every book written starts as a shitty first draft! So when we read finished, published books, we’re reading the totally edited and polished version of the stories…and we CANNOT compare our rough drafts to a published book! It’s a very unfair comparison, like comparing apples to oranges. I know you want to write a book badly, so you will. The trick is to just write and let it flow without trying to fit it into the finished version. That’s where I’m at too. I need to just write and stop worrying about the outcome. As always, love your posts!
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Jammie. I love this. Thanks for posting. What a valid point your channeling teacher makes. I never even think of it this way but I’m definitely going to start. A book is going to happen. I just need to get out of my own way. Have you decided what type of book you’re going to write? X
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YES that’s exactly it!! We’ve got to get out of our own ways!! That’s at the bottom of most issues I’ve worked through– that I have been standing in my own way! Because even in times where I felt like someone or something was standing in my way, it always comes back to the fact that I have allowed it to be that way. Keep writing, your book will come and I will buy it! I am sure it will be great! I’m really not sure what mine will be yet. I’ve started a sort of personal memoir I guess, but I haven’t really honed in on what it will ultimately be about. Truthfully, I’ve been hiking more and writing less these days, because outside time has felt really important to me.
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Indeed we do and it’s something that we have to keep on reminding ourselves of. Which is what I really struggle with. Aww that’s lovely of you to say. I haven’t even started writing yet and I’m putting writers blocks in place. Haha! I shall 100% buy your book too. The outdoors is massively important. Keep enjoying your hiking lovely xx
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