This thing called life, we can’t do it on our own and why would we want to?
I have always classified myself as strong and independent (not stable 😜) and thought I could work my way through life with little help.
I partly thought this because I’m a bit stubborn but mainly because I didn’t want to appear weak, vulnerable and to be honest I was too scared to let my defences down and too shy to actually ask for help.
I have seen the error in my ways and realise that to really experience life and get the most value from it, we need people. And you all know my thoughts on vulnerability – hence the name and theme of my blog.
We need people to: love, work with, talk to (I mean really talk where they’re actively listening), bounce ideas off, laugh with, cry with, moan to.
And we sometimes need people to take over and be the crutch, the support when we feel like we can’t go on.
My emotions have been a bit all over the place this week, a lull set up camp and I felt a little disjointed. I put it down to post holiday blues but naming it didn’t make it disappear. Plus, I’m not sure that it was the actual reason.
I did however feel so much better having people there, not to judge or to fix me, but just be there. Texts with one friend, impromptu dinner with another, a couple of video calls and suddenly I didn’t feel so alone. To actually air how we are currently feeling really does expose it to the light and it can make the situation more bearable.
To hear the battles and obstacles other people are facing reminded me that life is hard, it can sometimes be shit and unfair. Running from how we feel or masking our feelings with social media, shopping, drugs, alcohol etc. can only work for a short time. There comes a time where we have to sit with our feelings and speak to someone we trust.
Which brings me on to my writing journey.
For years I have wanted to be a writer, but squashed that dream down with negative self talk and dangerous comparisons. When I finally started to tell people I wanted to write, far be it from laughing in my face and telling me how unrealistic I was, I got messages of encouragement and recommendations.
Since then I’ve become a member of a book club for writers, attended a workshop for intuitive writing, joined a flash-fiction writers group and……
I finished my first ever short story A piece of me!
This was due to a supportive creative writing workshop I attended. The host, Sean, was so kind, patient and understanding and was a great critical voice to have. I not only learnt that I can actually start something and complete it but I can actually handle constructive criticism – go me! If you’re based in London and are interested in writing, I recommend his workshops 100% – https://www.thenewmachine.com/
Yes, sometimes there are paths and journeys we have to take on our own but along the way there’ll be people to guide us.
I’m learning more each day to embrace this and to accept help when it’s offered. Next step, starting to actually ask for help too…….
Emma x
Instagram: @emmalouhalliday
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This was so well written – I know it’s not the purpose of the post, but heck you’re a good writer and it even shows here so I wanted to say it!
I’m really pleased that you’re reaching out and not trying to endure anything alone when you don’t need to. It hurt my heart to read you were too shy to ask for help. You’re right though, when you said it’s not about having people there to fix you but just to be there, it really does help! Especially having people to laugh with. I’m glad your friends helped you feel better and I hope you continue on the up! 💜
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Aaah Arbie, thank you so much for your kind words, means a lot.
It’s definitely not a default trait reaching out, speaking to people and asking for help but I’m hoping it’ll be like working a muscle and it’ll get stronger/easier. It’s also made me realise that I have so many great people around me ❤️
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So wonderful that you’ve gotten into doing writing workshops and such, sounds so fun!! 😊
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Thanks Hunida. It is really fun and so rewarding 😀
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Beautiful, beautiful post E.
I’m so happy for you and what you’ve accomplished . You should be immensely proud of yourself.
That song gives me a lump in my throat, as did your writing .
X
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Than you so much for reading and commenting. Always means so much from my blogging friends ❤️. I think I’m going to listen to that song now. Sending love to ya xxx
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Wow Emma! You and I have so much in common! We probably got connected to show us that we aren’t alone. How cool! I have been the same way throughout my life…independent and strong and not one to ask for help even when I needed it. In my life, situations have kind of lined up to force me to ask for help. Over and over again… To the point where I am starting to get comfortable with it. And honestly, it has led me to feeling more connected to the people in my life, and my community at large. I love that you fought your inner critic and pushed yourself to seek situations that would lead you to your dream of being a writer! You are an inspiration! Keep writing!
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Love your comment Jammie ❤️ I wholeheartedly agree with you, our bond keeps on getting stronger. Love that you’re able to be aware of the times when this has happened, your eyes have most certainly opened to how life works out for us. My mission is for me and my inner critic to be friends – I’m gonna stalk it until it lets me be the one that speaks most. Haha!! Thank you x
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