Wow!! I’ve just had a moment and I’m damn sure I can link it to my quest to become more open and vulnerable.
I have just been to the doctors and gave the nurse a date ’28th February’. Nothing unusual here – I was just throwing a date out there. I’m pretty sure it was the wrong one!
I then head to Superdrug to pick up some toilet roll – 9 pack for £2 – good quality. It’s a no brainer! The song that is playing when I enter is ‘I’ll Be Missing You’ – Puff Daddy, Faith Evans and 112!
A strange feeling drifts over me and I instantly well up. It was the song that came out just after my mum died – so I instantly attached it to her.
I try to hold back my sad thoughts but that doesn’t align me with me today.
So I open up, let the memories flood in and as I walk around the aisles in Superdrug, I sing along with Puff Daddy/P Diddy/Sean Combes or whatever he’s called now. Tears proudly resting in my eyes, 9 pack of boggers under my arm, singing out of tune and I remember my mum!
After I leave the shop I immediately text my Sister and ask what date mum died. I’d heard that song countless times in the years following but never had I come over like this.
Text back read: 28th February, 1997.
20years ago!! That was definitely a sign and I’m so pleased that I decided to let the emotions in!
I was 15yrs old when she passed away and I never really grieved. Hence not even setting the date in stone in my mind. So I’m sat here now – sharing this story with you and I’m crying. I’m grieving. I’m allowing!!
This year of vulnerability thing is well powerful!
R.I.P – Barbara Jean Thompson – 28.02.97
You are a remarkable woman. RIP to your mum and hello to your hope and healing xx
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Thank you for your kind words Stacey 😀. Xx